MANNERS THAT MATTER

An etiquette guide for interacting
with people with disabilities

(APD logo)

Agency for Persons with Disabilities
State of Florida

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Words

It is helpful to remember that a person with a disability is—first and
foremost—a person. The disability does not define the person. Phrases
such as “the disabled,” “the retarded,” or “the blind” are inappropriate
because they do not reflect the individuality or dignity of people with
disabilities. So is “normal person,” because the term implies that a
person with a disability isn’t normal. Avoid labels.

Instead, use people-first language, which emphasizes the person rather
than the disability. Examples include “person with a disability,” “person
who is blind,” and “person with an intellectual disability.” Positive language
affirms and empowers, while negative language limits and segregates.
There is no perfect terminology, but as you read the table of phrases below,
note how the positive phrases put the person first.

AFFIRMATIVE PHRASES

person with a disability
person with cerebral palsy
person who has multiple sclerosis
person who is deaf, hard of hearing
person who is blind, visually impaired
person with cognitive disabilities, intellectual and developmental disabilities, mental retardation
person with epilepsy, seizure disorder
person who uses a wheelchair
person who is physically disabled
person with psychiatric disability
unable to speak, uses synthetic speech
successful, productive
she says she has a disability

NEGATIVE PHRASES

the disabled, the handicapped
CP victim
afflicted by MS
the deaf, suffers from a hearing loss
the blind
the retarded, mentally defective, feebleminded
epileptic
confined or restricted to a wheelchair, wheelchair-bound
crippled, lame, deformed
crazy, nuts, the mentally ill
dumb, mute, nonverbal, noncommunicative
has overcome a disability
he admits that he has a disability

Actions

If actions speak louder than words, it’s important not to act in a way that
shouts your insensitivity! A few simple rules will help you to show your
respect and support to a person with disabilities through your actions.

• Speak directly to a person with a disability, rather than to the sign
language interpreter or companion.

• When introduced, extend your hand to shake hands
with a person with a disability. People with limited
hand use or who wear artificial limbs can usually
shake hands. A shake with a left hand is
perfectly okay.

• When meeting a person who is visually
impaired, always identify yourself and
others who may be with you. In a group
setting, identify the person to whom you
are speaking.

• If you offer assistance, wait until the
offer is accepted. Then listen to or ask
for instructions.

• Treat adults as adults. Address people who
have disabilities by their first names only when
extending the same familiarity to all others. Never
patronize people who use wheelchairs by patting them
on the head or shoulder.

• Leaning or hanging onto a person’s wheelchair is considered
annoying. A person who uses a wheelchair, scooter, or cane
considers the equipment as part of their personal space.

• When speaking to someone who uses a wheelchair, scooter, or
crutches, place yourself at eye-level in front of the person to
make conversation.

• Listen attentively when talking with a person who has difficulty
speaking. Be patient and wait for the person to finish, rather than
speaking for or correcting him or her. If necessary, ask short
questions that require short answers, or perhaps a nod or shake
of the head. Never pretend to understand; instead, repeat what
you have understood and allow the person to respond.

• To get the attention of a person who is deaf, tap him or her on
the shoulder or wave your hand. Look directly at the person and
speak clearly, slowly, and expressively to determine if the person
can read your lips. If so, place yourself so that you face the light
source and keep hands, food, and cigarettes away from your
mouth when speaking.

Relax

Don’t be embarrassed if you happen to use a common
expression such as “See you later,” or “Did you hear the
latest?” that seem to relate to a person’s disability. You
might be surprised to know that many people who are blind
say “See you later!” If you are unsure of what to say or do,
don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Further Consideration

To find out more about the etiquette of interacting with
people with disabilities, please consult the following sources:

National Organization on Disability
www.nod.org

United Spinal Association
www.unitedspinal.org/pdf/DisabilityEtiquette.pdf

U.S. Dept. of Labor
www.dol.gov/odep/pubs/fact/comucate.htm

VSA arts
www.vsarts.org/x523.xml

Agency for Persons with Disabilities
4030 Esplanade Way, Suite 380
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0950
1-866-APD-CARES (1-866-273-2273)
(850) 488-4257
apdcares.org

MAY 2010