MANNERS THAT MATTER

An etiquette guide for interacting
with people with disabilities

(APD logo)

Agency for Persons with Disabilities
State of Florida

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Words

A person with a disability is a person, not a disability. Terms like “the
disabled,” “retarded,” or “the blind” are inappropriate because they
emphasize disability rather than individuality. “Normal person” implies that a person with a disability isn’t normal. Also, avoid describing a disability as an affliction or disabling condition with language like “suffers from,” “victim of,” “incapacitated by,” “confined to,” “restricted to,” or “bound.”

Instead, use person-first language, which emphasizes the person rather
than the disability. Person-first language is positive, respectful, and does not limit, label, segregate, or devalue the person. It affirms, empowers, and emphasizes abilities. In the table below, note how person-first language puts the person first.

AFFIRMATIVE PHRASES

person with a disability
person with cerebral palsy
person who has multiple sclerosis
person who is deaf, hard of hearing
person who is blind, visually impaired
person with cognitive disabilities, intellectual and developmental disabilities, mental retardation
person with epilepsy, seizure disorder
person who uses a wheelchair
person who is physically disabled
person with psychiatric disability
unable to speak, uses synthetic speech
short in stature, of short stature


NEGATIVE PHRASES

the disabled, the handicapped
CP victim
afflicted by MS
the deaf, suffers from a hearing loss
the blind
the retarded, mentally defective, feebleminded
epileptic
confined or restricted to a wheelchair, wheelchair-bound
crippled, lame, deformed
crazy, nuts, the mentally ill
dumb, mute, nonverbal, noncommunicative
dwarf, midget

ACTIONS

Here are a few examples of respectful and supportive actions:
• If you offer assistance, wait until the person accepts; listen to or ask
for instructions.
• Speak directly to the person, not to their companion. Do not stare.
• When meeting a person for the first time, show the
same respect that you would show to anyone else.
Never pat people on the head or shoulder.
• Make eye contact when speaking with a
person who is in their wheelchair or scooter.
• Never assume that the person cannot shake
hands, despite appearances. Either hand
may be used.
• When greeting a person who is blind or
visually impaired, wait for them to extend
their hand first. You could say, “May I shake
your hand?” as a verbal cue. Always identify
yourself and others who may be with you. In a
group setting, name the person to whom you are
speaking. Inform the person when you leave the
room. Don’t pet, feed, address, or distract the person’s
guide dog, even if it is sitting, standing, or lying down;
disrupting the dog’s concentration jeopardizes the person’s health
and safety.
• Do not lean on a person’s wheelchair, scooter, crutches, walker, or
cane. This equipment is part of their personal space. Never move their
equipment away from them without their permission, even temporarily.
If they allow you to move it, remember to put it back.
• Listen attentively when a person’s speech is slow or different.
Be patient and wait for them to finish, rather than speaking for or
correcting them. If necessary, ask questions that require short answers
or perhaps a nod or shake of the head. Never pretend to understand;
instead, repeat what you have understood and allow the person to
respond.
• To get the attention of a person who is deaf, tap them on the
shoulder or wave your hand.
• If the person needs to read your lips, don’t put your hand or objects
in front of your face, smoke, eat, look down, turn your head,
or walk away while talking. Speak clearly at a moderate pace.
If possible, converse in a well lit area. If the person uses a sign language interpreter, speak directly to and maintain eye contact
with the person, not the interpreter. Whether speaking or
writing, don’t use complex words that may not translate into
sign language.
• If a person wears a hearing aid, speak in a location with no
background noise. Don’t raise the volume or pitch of your
voice unless asked.

Relax

Don’t be embarrassed if you use a common expression like,
“Did you hear the latest?” that seems to relate to a person’s
disability. In fact, many people who are blind say, “See you later!”
If you are unsure about what to say or do, ask the person. If you
make a mistake, relax! People with disabilities don’t expect
perfection. Showing empathy and having a positive attitude
are the most important gestures you can make.

Further Consideration

To find out more about the etiquette of interacting with
people with disabilities, please consult the following sources:

Disability is Natural
Disabilityisnatural.com

Job Accomodation Network
Askjan.org/topics/disetiq.htm

United Spinal Association
Unitedspinal.org

Agency for Persons with Disabilities
4030 Esplanade Way, Suite 380
Tallahassee, FL 32399-0950
1-866-APD-CARES (1-866-273-2273)
(850) 488-4257
apdcares.org

MAY 2017